The blogs I commented on are as follows: Deb Ortega, Andrew Rocha, Jon Thomas
After reading other people's drafts, I realized that I also needed to improve my essay and use the Clarity topics. I need to use more active verbs, add needed words, untangle mixed constructions, and add more variety. I need to use more active verbs and avoid using passive words like "am","was" and "were". Also, I need to use add more needed words because word choice is very important when writing any written piece. Adding needed words makes a sentence grammatically correct. Also, I need to untangle mixed constructions because I tend to add specific parts of a sentence next to each other when they shouldn't be together. I also need to avoid using words such as "reason" and "when". Finally, I need to provide some variety. This means that I need to use different types of sentences including simple, complex, compound, and compound complex.
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